Friends: Know when to hold them. Know when to walk away.

Like the song says, "You gotta have friends." At the ripe old age of 52, I've come to realize how much I cherish my friendships. Man or woman, friendships are so important to ones life.  I don't know about others but my friendships are an extension of my family and are considered family. Friends are also good for your health. In research done by the Mayo Clinic, they state,

1. Friends increase your sense of belonging and purpose
2. Friendships boosts happiness and decreases stress
3. Friends improve self confidence and self worth
4. Friendships help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
5.  Friends encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise (http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860)

Last year my girlfriends and I decided to have girls nights once a month. I live for these nights. We do things like have dinner, build a fire, make smores, etc. Next week it's our first get together since Winter. I'm so excited. When mother nature keeps up apart, we text, call, and have lunch together. No matter what, we are there for each other. Even in sickness, death, sadness, and emergencies we stick together and know we all can count on each other.

There are times friends are better than family. Sometimes family can be, well, a bit too much to handle. Friends tend to be that calm we need when family doesn't understand (more on that later).

But what happens when friendships go stale or rocky? I've had this happen to me on three occasions.  Each of them being hard when I tell them I love them but you have to part ways. So begs the question: When can you tell when a friendship is toxic? I found this article on how you can tell.

• Feeling down or even depressed when your friend is about.
• No longer getting excited to see your friend, seeing them has become something you feel obliged to endure.
• You feel that your friend always talks about themselves, even when it's clear you need a shoulder to cry on.
• Your friend's set of values and their ambitions seem to have changed a great deal from yours, to the extent where you don't see eye to eye on most things anymore.
• Have you discovered that your friend gave you bad advice on purpose? It can be just as bad if your friend is always agreeing with you without caring about the consequences because he or she cannot be bothered to set you straight.
• It seems that your friend only "needs" you when he or she has bad news to share.
• It feels as if your friend is using you as a means to make herself or himself feel better by belittling you.
• Your friend has taken to criticizing you all the time or being judgmental about your choices and decisions without cause.
• Rumors started by your friend (confirmed by others) have reached your ears.
• Your friend has taken to dropping you in a mess at the last moment, hindering your progress, or has become really unreliable and won't follow through on promises made to you, time and again.
• You feel manipulated, demeaned, poisoned, or downplayed by your friend.
• Consider what other behaviors or attitudes have lead you to feeling sour about your friendship together. (http://www.wikihow.com/Detox-a-Friendship)

How many of you out there have had this happen? Even at my age this happens. One thing I can't stand is drama; especially girl drama is the worst.  This is where you need to think about if the friendship is valuable to you. If it is, work through it together. If not, like me, send them away with love. It's okay to step away. We grow out of people like we do toys. So don't feel bad when this time comes. It happens. You can view it as the circle of life, your life.

I love my friends but there might be a time we part ways. For now, I hold them close to my soul and enjoy their very presence in my life. Embrace those you have. Clean house of those who are toxic and know it's okay.