There are times when people are draining. I really thought it was just an mental issue with me not being patient with my fellow humans. There are some people who when you're done being with them you feel like every ounce of energy you have is totally depleted. Alas, I'm not the only one. I asked my friends if they felt the same about other humans and they agreed. Yes! I'm not that crazy.
Judith Orloff (who is an amazingly cool chick and writes a pretty darn good book) talks about dealing with people like this. She calls them 'Energy Vampires." In her book, "Positive Energy" she breaks it down to types of energy vampires.
Vampire #1: The Sob Sister
Every time you talk to her she's whining. She adores a captive audience. She’s the coworker with the “poor me” attitude who’s more interested in complaining than solutions.
Vampire #2: The Drama Queen
This vampire has a flair for exaggerating small incidents into off-the-chart dramas. My patient Sarah was exhausted when she hired a new employee who was always late for work. One weeks he had the flu and “almost died.” Next, his car was towed, again!. After this employee left her office Sarah felt tired and used.
Vampire #3:The Constant Talker or Joke Teller
He has no interest in your feelings; he’s only concerned with himself. Initially, he might seem entertaining, but when the talking doesn’t stop, you begin to get tired. You wait for an opening to get a word in edgewise but it never comes. Or he might physically move in so close he's practically breathing on you. You edge backwards, but without missing a beat, he steps closer again. “One patient said about such a coworker, ‘Whenever I spot this man my colon goes into spasm.”
Vampire #4. The Fixer Upper
This vampire is desperate for you to fix her endless problems—at all hours. She turns you into her therapist. At lunch, she’ll make a b-line to your desk, monopolizing your free time. Her neediness lures you in.
Vampire #4: The Blamer
This vampire has a sneaky way of making you feel guilty or lacking for not getting things just right. Whenever my patient Marie, a book editor, sees her boss she’s on guard; her boss had a way of cutting her down that saps her energy. She always has a negative comment to make.
Vampire #5: Go For The Jugular Fiend
This type is vindictive and cuts you down with no consideration for your feelings. He says things like, “Forget that job. It’s out of your league.” These jabs can be so hurtful it’s hard to get them out of your head.
(source: http://www.drjudithorloff.com/Free-Articles/Protect-Yourself.htm)
Dr. Orloff goes on to tell you how to protect yourself from these folks. Being the constant student of life, I follow this advice in her book. It works! But then I had to take a look at myself too. Am I an energy zapper? While doing my self analysis I could possibly see myself easily becoming one of these five. However, when I come upon some of these fine vampires I can feel it. Orloff calls this being an "emotional empath." What this means is you feel things others can't. I was always told I was too emotional. I'm not emotional but I can feel vibrations others can't (take the quiz: http://www.drjudithorloff.com/Free-Articles/emotional-empath-EF.htm).
There are ways to combat these nice folks without having your energy taken away from you. Be compassionate though. You don't want to be a mean person either.
No comments:
Post a Comment