We All Have Choices

My mom, who tends to have moments of being extremely wise, says the above statement when we discuss things we do and say. The funny part about this small quote is so strong and powerful.

Dr. Phil says this about choices:

It's often been said that life is a series of choices. Think about it. As you progress from one stage of your life to another, you make choices that have far-reaching implications.
You can think about life in different phases. First is dependency, when we rely on others to take care of us, to feed us, to clothe us. Then, you move into the preparation phase where you're getting yourself ready to do something with your life. Then, you move into the performance phase.
All of these phases are driven by choices. What you need to ask yourself is why you make the choices that you make.
Most choices are made out of fear — not need for achievement, not pride, but fear. One of the things that I want you to do is sit down and say, "What are the important choices that I'm making in my life, and what is the motive that drives each and every one of these choices?" That knowledge will be power.  (source: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/402)

How we choose to live our lives is so important. As I've stated, I've chosen to live my life with positivity and happiness. This doesn't mean I don't have days I get angry, upset, or sad, but it is up to me on how I deal with it. When someone cuts me off while driving, yea I get mad and probably say some unkind things; it's short-lived and done in a nano second. Why let it ruin your day? When it comes to sadness I've had my share. My father died in 2003, I've had to put down three dogs, my daughter moved away. I was sad on all three incidents but I don't wallow in it. I miss them all but I know their souls are around me with love. My daughter and I talk every day at least three or four times a day and she's always in my heart.

The other day I was talking to my dear friend Cindy. She and I were hiking and talking about mourning. Her husband died two years ago. She had her time of being sad but realized that's not what she wanted to to. She knows her husband is still around her and she talks to him all the time. She embraces happiness and knows her choice is to be happy and continue with life. I so admire her for this.  She went to a grief group one time and there were folks there who were still mourning the loss of a loved one for years and years. Are they losing their happiness while wallowing? Yes! We must live on! Grief must not take over our lives. I've had my share of grief and loss; I choose to embrace their memories and know they are around me with love.

All the choices we make will affect your life; good, bad, or indifferent. But the overall understanding is to realize they are YOUR CHOICES. I found this one blog which spelled out the 100 most important life choices. Some made me giggle but they're true (http://lifelessons4u.wordpress.com/2009/04/15/100-most-important-life-choices/). We are all going to make some choices that don't get too many votes with family, choices of life or death, simple or complex; overall we make them for us. I know some I make aren't popular but I accept them as mine.

Introducing My Passion - Yoga - It's a Lifestyle

When I started doing yoga, I was sick for quite a while, fat, and out of shape...badly. I started going once a week. I'm not gonna lie, it was hard. I know I would cry through most of it too. I would tell myself, "I can't do this" or "I can't do that" without even trying; thinking I had limits. See I was told all my life I was 'delicate' and my body was not capable of doing such things. I believed it too. I was in a class one evening with my friend Brent and his wife (who was the instructor), Erica. When I couldn't do a pose, starting crying (of course), Brent looked at me and said, "Why are you telling yourself you can't? Why not try saying, I can instead?" Holy cow! Talk about a wake up moment! Felt like a rock hit me in the head. From then on, I've been unstoppable. I stopped telling myself I can't and started the "I Can" mentality.

This new mentality isn't the only thing that changed me. Yoga and the yogic life really has been a big impact on me. Yoga isn't just exercise. It's a total overhaul in your life. Your mind is clearer, your choices in what you do in life, the way you eat, and more! Before I did yoga, I was sick, depressed, and literally at my lowest. I couldn't work because of my illness. Now I can! I'm now living my life the way I want to and what I always dreamed. Because of yoga I can now hike mountains, travel, try new things, and be the wife I want to be.Because of yoga and my newfound way of thinking, I'm more positive in life than ever before. I also keep positive people in my life and stay away from anything negative. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will dampen my parade!

Keep in mind, yoga isn't just for girls. You was created by men for men. It wasn't until yoga came the Western World that women became active in it. So men! Listen! It's not just for women. I am starting to see more and more men come into yoga than ever before.

Remember though, it's a way of life. Grant it, you can just do it as a form of exercise, but you're selling yourself short by not embracing everything there is about yoga. It's beautiful, whole, and sheer beauty, It's where my life began.

The Right to be Picky

At 52, I've decided I have the right to be picky. Not just about food, but pretty much everything in my life. Each of us should be picky too. Why? Because we shouldn't be forced into things we really don't want to do, say, or eat. So I put together my own Personal Bill of Rights.

1. I have the right to not watch the news because it's too much negativity
2. I have the right to not eat foods that are processed because they're nasty
3. I have the right to pick and choose what I want to do; I'm in control of my life
4. I have the right to become the person I want to be. I want to be true to myself
5. I have the right not to eat meat because it makes me feel ill and there's a weirdness of eating a fellow mammal. 
6. I have the right to share love and happiness in ways such as hugs, gifts, random acts of kindness. It's part of being me.
7. I have the right to spend an entire day reading a book, knitting, sewing, or engaging in things that make me happy if I want to.
8. I have the right to eat practice my spirituality in any way I want whether it's through meditation or yoga
9. I have the right to wear whatever clothes I want to wear; be it politically correct or not. I have a slight hippie feel and my own sense of style which includes lots of pink and yellow.
10. I have to the right to eat whatever foods I want no matter how weird or odd it may be. It's healthy for my body.

 Ladies, take heed! We've got to start being picky about our lives. For so many years I did things which I thought were the right things to do because of being a mom, wife, good employee. No more. It's time to start living the lives we are meant to have and be picky about it.

I tell my students and my children to live with passion and find your passion and live it. For some reason, we women forget about that because we're too busy trying to please people. By doing this, we lose ourselves. The other day I was hiking with a friend who was telling me she doesn't really know who she is or what she wants anymore. She has a two year old and a husband and somehow has lost herself. I told her to rediscover herself and find what makes her happy. As simple as that statement is, it can pack a big punch! However, finding what makes you happy is a journey which can really be lots of fun. Some would look at this as frustrating, but don't allow it to be. Finding what makes you happy is a great adventure.

By finding what makes you happy, you can start being picky. Only do what makes you happy. Only eat what tastes good. Wear clothes that reflect you. Take time to do what you love.

Are We Too Serious?

Yesterday I was relaxing and channel surfing and came upon an old Ellen DeGeneres stand up routine. It was pretty funny but she did have some seriousness in one part. She talked about how we forget to get in touch with our inner child.

There are times in our lives which we forget that life was meant to be enjoyed and have fun. With jobs, kids, bills, mortgages, etc. we tend to forget about the this great joy of life. One part of Ellen's bit was running up to a stranger, touching them and saying, "your it!" Sounds so easy to do but what would people think?? They probably would call the cops on you. But there's a simplicity to this statement that sounds like so much fun. So much so I think I want to try it.

How can we enjoy life? It's so easy when you think about it. Think about when you were 8 years old. What would be your key to happiness. Here's the top 5 from my inner 8 year old.

1. Marry Davy Jones
2. Have all the Barbie's in the world
3. Never go to school and play all day
4. Live in a castle
5. Be able to fly like Peter Pan

In review of these items as an adult I can say I've completed them in my own way. But do you see how simple this is? If we can look at things from the perspective of an 8 year old, we can easily enjoy life so much more. While I never married Davy Jones, I married a great guy who looks like Steve McQueen. I'll take that.

Here's some adult minded thought which could help you be in touch with happiness.

• Take a walk - So many times we come home from work with the intention of cooking dinner and watching the news. Turn off the news which is depressing anyway and go walk. Get your spouse or partner to go and hold hands. 
• Take a class or lesson you always wanted to do - This past week I took a class on raising roses. While it sounds pretty weird, it was really cool and I enjoyed it. There are tons of freebies you can look into in your community. My husband and I did a dance class or two and laughed through the entire thing.
• Step out of your comfort zone - A couple of years ago my daughter convinced me to go zip lining with her. I was scared to death but I couldn't show it. I wanted to be tough. I was too. It wasn't easy and I walked away with more black and blue marks on my body that I could count, but I sure had fun and laughed a lot. 
• Become the tourist - We all live in different parts of the world but have you ever taken the time to be the tourist of your area? Pick a local town and do the touristy thing. It's fun and you see things you never knew were there. 
• Create something beautiful - Last Friday my friends and I went to a place and painted ceramic figures. Boy it was so relaxing and fun. Yesterday I planted an herb garden. I've even tried making a terrarium. Making something beautiful isn't hard. Just takes your inner 8 year old. 
• Live your childhood dreams - I kind of do this! I teach yoga. To me, this is play but also my passion. When I do yoga, I can fly like Peter Pan too. I live in an amazing house my husband and I build; thus it is my castle. 

Don't take life too serious. Why should we? My adopted daughter Suzi and her wife Lisa live life on their terms! They work virtually, bought an RV and travel the U.S. embracing life and laughing. I look at life sometimes through my daughters eyes. At 25, she's wide open and learning so much. I don't want to be that age but it really is awesome to see the greatness she's doing.

Stop being so serious! It causes wrinkles.

Failure and Weakness - The Make-Believe Words We Shouldn't Hear or Say

I teach college online. For one of my classes it's the last week and their assignment was to reflect on what they learned and what they're taking away. One student focused on what she found as weaknesses. A friend of mine had a business which was slow to start. She closed it in less than a year and has yet to bounce back because she sees it as a failure.

Why do we, as humans, focus on our downfalls? Society has programmed us to see ourselves as weak and to focus on our weakness...lower than perfection (remember that discussion?).

As humans we are prone to moments of downfall and imperfection. Oprah did the commencement speech at Harvard last year and said this,

"At some point, you are bound to stumble. You will at some point fall, and when you do, I want you to remember this—There is no such thing as failure; failure is just life trying to move us in another direction."

She's right (yes Oprah is right). We stumble. In reviewing for this writing, I looked at other mammals. Funny thing about the animal kingdom, they don't focus on failure or weakness. If an animal is a pack animal, the ones that are not high in the ranking they just live happily with where they are. Geese who fly in a V formation have a purpose as to where they are in the V. It has nothing to do with who is strongest. They just have the assigned position. Dogs too! My Molly stumbles once in awhile. She'll poop on the floor or pee on the rug. But do they focus on that as a failure? No! What do they do, they jump on your lap and love you. Animals live in the here and now with the memory of the stumble gone in a second. So why can't we do this? Simple, society has trained us to think of our lives as crap when we stumble.

"Start realizing right now that there's no such thing as failure. There are only results. You always produce a result. If it's not the one you desire, you can just change your actions and you'll produce new results. Cross out the word 'failure,' circle the word 'outcome' in this book, and commit yourself to learning from every experience."

-- Tony Robbins

I can't tell you how many times I've reached a low point where I though myself weak, a failure, and lower than an ant's legs. Then again, we've probably all been there. You can wallow in it if you want; sit around, eat the spray cheese and Ritz Crackers, chew on it until it loses it flavor. Ok, you've had your moment, look at these stumble as an educational experience or learning experience. A moment of stumbling and move forward.  Like I've said many times, there are so many wonderful things in life and we can't focus our thoughts on the bad stuff. Focus on the good that came out of the situation. For example, a couple years ago I decided to create a non-profit to focus on helping others learn meditation free with a focus on low income and military suffering from PTSD, depression, and anxiety. Sounds like a great thing right? After a year of working hard, doing the leg work, advertising, interviewing, we got nothin! I closed it up. I was pretty broken up about it but I looked back on all the things I learned, the people I met, and the lessons involved. It was invaluable. 

There's a great book written by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton called, "Now Discover Your Strengths." In this book, Buckingham and Clifton teach us how to solely focus on our strengths. In it they say, "Focus on your strengths and those weaknesses you see fade away" (paraphrased). 

I use this last sentence as a mantra when I feel myself falling into focusing on those stumbles. I had to do this just a week ago when I went into something which I thought would be a great opportunity and it turned out to be a bust. The lesson for me was, it wasn't a good fit. I'm not trying to resolve it or reason the situation. That was the lesson.

So stop looking at your life as a failure or weakness! We have downfalls and stumbles. Focus on your strengths! Embrace them, hone them to be bigger! 

IBS - Part II - Living the Poopy Life

Living with IBS-D can be, well, unique to say the least. One thing I've learned is timing is everything. Know when your body is going to react. The sad part is, we have no control over it. I get asked often how I can lead a great life while dealing with this caca. Below are some suggestions that have worked for me.

1) Know your body. Get in tune with your entire body and it's functions. I'll be honest, I kept a journal on everything from what I ate to when I poo. I had too. This is for a couple reasons: first, because you need to figure out what could be causing your issues. For many IBS sufferers, there are many things which cause the "moments." The biggest thing that causes problems are simple foods which you never would realize: fruit, breads, corn. Why fruit? Fruit has lots of natural sugars; sugars feed the yeast which creates the IBS. Breads have what in it? Yeast! Yeast is candida. Corn is so overly produced the body rejects it and cannot process it.

With bread comes gluten. If you drink alcohol, there are grains in vodka, rum, bourbon, scotch, and whiskey. If you do like that occasional cosmo or martini, you can use a grape based or potato based vodka. Wine can be a good alternative but watch your sugar intake on this one. Go for dry wines.

2) Traveling - Traveling is tough for us who poo when we hit bumps or get nervous. You can make traveling easier if you follow these steps. A) again, know when you have your moments. B) create a travel kit that sits right beside you at all times. Adult diaper (sorry), wipes, extra underwear, extra pants, and Imodium.  Know your route and make sure you scout out bathrooms.

3) Peppermint can cause more harm than good. Sorry Dr. Oz. When he remarked that peppermint helps, I ran out and bought some peppermint capsules. It did more harm than good with me. When I had an accident, my entire downside was burned from the peppermint. BUT you can try peppermint and ginger oil rubbed onto the tummy and feet. This does work well.

4) When you feel that bubble, go to the bathroom...don't run. Running makes it worse. Walk proud and realize it's coming and you can't stop it.

You don't have to suffer in silence. My family knows and I've been pretty open with them on this issue. You can control this with how you eat. Do the research and know what triggers the moments. Grant it, you can just live with it without changing your lifestyle but is it worth hiding out when you can have a fun life. Because of the changes I've made, I can lead a good life, travel, have fun. You just need to be mindful.

Folks, pooping your pants at this age really isn't fun. I'm not a fan of the warm and squishy moments. You feel defeated, humiliated, and angry all at once. Even changing my diet hasn't cleared it up but it has slowed it down so I can do the things I want.

Below is an excerpt from my book I'm writing called, "Warm and Squishy."

One afternoon I was in a local department store with my then 10 year old daughter and it hit me; first it starts out as a bubble in your belly. Then all hell breaks loose and down the shorts into my beautiful clear jellies it went. Up my back, down my legs, in my shoes, on the floor; you name it, there wasn’t an inch that wasn’t covered in poo. Not just any type of poo. The kind that is watery, has some texture and a great bouquet. My daughter starts crying saying she was “sorry for dawdling” (great mom huh?). Trying to keep it all together and not fall apart, I just looked at her with love and said, “Honey, you’re ok but mommy needs to go to the car. How about if you be the big girl, take the keys, open the car for me, and I’ll be right there.” She was very brave. I, on the other hand was thinking to myself, “What the hell just happened here?” Then you hear the dreaded intercom come across, “May I have your attention please? Associate needs clean up in children’s clothing.” I needed to get out fast. I pulled myself together, held my head high, and started walking out; squishing in my shoes and trying not to slip as the beautiful stench of crap keeps coming out. My daughter and I made it home okay. Got in the door and cleaned up. I chalked it up as a fluke…but it wasn’t.

I can honestly say I have crapped in the best of places: Cloudcroft, NM; Las Vegas, NV; The White House; the grounds of a local college; and a parking garage. Oh, did I mention there are even television shows involved? Yes, lucky me had an accident at the daytime show of Anderson Cooper and The Chew. Leaving your ‘mark’ in places really isn’t something I wanted to be known for.

Getting Old Doesn't Have to be a Bitch

I remember when I turned 31. My daughter was 4. I did not want to be 31. I was really angry to the point I told my ex-husband if he even acknowledged my birthday with a cake or gifts I would throw it all away. I told my 4 year old Mommy didn't want to be old. She said, "Mommy you're not old, you're pretty." Wow! Out of the mouth of babes. I turned a corner that day and learned to embrace my age. Realizing this, getting older has been a beautiful thing.

Let me explain...

In your 20's it's all about growing up and having fun.

Your 30's are the time of confusion. You're getting older but you're still young.

40's bring on focus and structure

Your 50's are about enjoying life and learning!

I've developed some ways to enjoy getting older. They work for me so I figured it would help to share them.

1) Your birthday is a week long Federal holiday. Do something daily for yourself to celebrate. Buy something pretty, manicure, pedicure, massage...you get the point. Remember, it's all about YOU! Nothing wrong with that.

2) Walk daily - Doesn't have to be something fast. Slow, enjoyable and relaxing. It's good for the body and makes your skin glow.

3) When you step on the scale, take 5lbs off. Always makes a girl feel good.

4) Weekly, do something for yourself. Whether it's reading a good book, having  glass of wine, or hanging out with friends.

5) Don't allow physical or mental issues define who your are. You allow yourself to be undefinable!

6) Always carry a Poise pad in your purse. Our bladders are getting a little weak so a sneeze might..well...you know, cause leakage. Eeek!

7) In you're not in the mood, there are two things you can do: a) fake a headache or b) fake an orgasm.

8) A little eye make up makes your eyes not look so tired. Even though I hate make up I will do this once in awhile.

9) Find the one positive thing about yourself. Look in the mirror and embrace your sexiness and beauty. Positive thinking keeps wrinkles away.

10) Never risk a fart.

Embrace your age! It's so much fun. I'm loving my 50's and look forward to my 60's. If it's as much fun as my 50's, I can't wait!

RedHeadYogi: Little Black Hairs and Going Gray

RedHeadYogi: Little Black Hairs and Going Gray: I love being a woman. I really do. I embrace everything about being a woman from getting a period to boobs. But after I went through menopau...

Little Black Hairs and Going Gray

I love being a woman. I really do. I embrace everything about being a woman from getting a period to boobs. But after I went through menopause (had a hysterectomy at 36) I wasn't prepared for the next phase. First, there is this new thing they tell you to take called hormone replacement therapy (HRT). What do doctors prescribe? Premarin! Bad bad stuff. Why? My awesome doctor Dr. G told me. Premarin is made from the urine of female mares who are in heat. Yes ladies, you're taking pee. I did it for probably 10 years. After I found out what was really in it, it was gone! Dr. G put me on a bioidentical and natural replacement which works better.

Ok, back to the conversation. When you go through menopause all of a sudden you have little black hairs growing in places you're not prepared to have them. Neck, chin, jaw line...but wait! All of a sudden your eyebrows start growing together too. And these hairs aren't soft either. They're more like a wire punching through your skin as a natural exfoliate to drive me nuts. More to tweeze, wax, or thread everywhere. All of a sudden you're looking in the mirror daily to find new hairs in more places. Wait! Some of those new hairs come in a new color too! White! White hairs growing too? Yea I'm not ready for this.

The little white hairs start coming out in new places too. Your eyebrows are one place and you find them in your pubic area and your armpits. My God! Really? Does it have to be like this? The first time you look down naked and you see a white hair, a grip of fear comes to you. Am I getting old? Am I one step closer to the home? Not in my book. What do you do when you get those white hairs down there? According to my former mother in law, if you pluck one, more come back. Do you dye them? You could shave them off too. Wait wait wait...how about waxing? This is a topic all women face silently without anyone to talk to. I'm not going to say there's a solution but I will say it's a new chapter which I'm really not ready for.

Then there's going gray. I've had gray hair since I was 26. Since I was 26, I've been dying my hair.

I'll admit it, I'm not ready to be "mature." While I fully embrace my age, I can't be categorized as a senior yet (even though I am a life member of AARP). There is no way to grow old gracefully but I can do it on my terms. I will continue to dye my hair till I'm ready to stop. I will tweeze and wax those unwanted hairs as I see fit. As for those white hair in the southern hemisphere, well, what can you do? You do what you need to do my dear sisters. If you're ready to be gray, embrace it and enjoy it. My 80 year old mom who has a beautiful head of white hair stopped after her mom died and embraced it as a fact of life. Ummm not ready...so not ready.

Life tends to be pretty funny sometimes and I firmly believe Mother Nature has a fantastic sense of humor giving women more fun things to do while looking in the mirror.

RedHeadYogi: Mean People - Part II - Energy Vampires

RedHeadYogi: Mean People - Part II - Energy Vampires: There are times when people are draining. I really thought it was just an mental issue with me not being patient with my fellow humans. ...

Mean People - Part II - Energy Vampires

There are times when people are draining. I really thought it was just an mental issue with me not being patient with my fellow humans. There are some people who when you're done being with them you feel like every ounce of energy you have is totally depleted. Alas, I'm not the only one. I asked my friends if they felt the same about other humans and they agreed. Yes! I'm not that crazy.

Judith Orloff (who is an amazingly cool chick and writes a pretty darn good book) talks about dealing with people like this. She calls them 'Energy Vampires." In her book, "Positive Energy" she breaks it down to types of energy vampires.

Vampire #1: The Sob Sister
Every time you talk to her she's whining. She adores a captive audience. She’s the coworker with the “poor me” attitude who’s more interested in complaining than solutions.

Vampire #2: The Drama Queen
This vampire has a flair for exaggerating small incidents into off-the-chart dramas. My patient Sarah was exhausted when she hired a new employee who was always late for work. One weeks he had the flu and “almost died.” Next, his car was towed, again!. After this employee left her office Sarah felt tired and used.

Vampire #3:The Constant Talker or Joke Teller
He has no interest in your feelings; he’s only concerned with himself. Initially, he might seem entertaining, but when the talking doesn’t stop, you begin to get tired. You wait for an opening to get a word in edgewise but it never comes. Or he might physically move in so close he's practically breathing on you. You edge backwards, but without missing a beat, he steps closer again. “One patient said about such a coworker, ‘Whenever I spot this man my colon goes into spasm.”

Vampire #4. The Fixer Upper
This vampire is desperate for you to fix her endless problems—at all hours. She turns you into her therapist. At lunch, she’ll make a b-line to your desk, monopolizing your free time. Her neediness lures you in. 

Vampire #4: The Blamer
This vampire has a sneaky way of making you feel guilty or lacking for not getting things just right. Whenever my patient Marie, a book editor, sees her boss she’s on guard; her boss had a way of cutting her down that saps her energy. She always has a negative comment to make.

Vampire #5: Go For The Jugular Fiend
This type is vindictive and cuts you down with no consideration for your feelings. He says things like, “Forget that job. It’s out of your league.” These jabs can be so hurtful it’s hard to get them out of your head. 

(source: http://www.drjudithorloff.com/Free-Articles/Protect-Yourself.htm)

Dr. Orloff goes on to tell you how to protect yourself from these folks. Being the constant student of life, I follow this advice in her book. It works! But then I had to take a look at myself too. Am I an energy zapper? While doing my self analysis I could possibly see myself easily becoming one of these five. However, when I come upon some of these fine vampires I can feel it. Orloff calls this being an "emotional empath." What this means is you feel things others can't. I was always told I was too emotional. I'm not emotional but I can feel vibrations others can't (take the quiz: http://www.drjudithorloff.com/Free-Articles/emotional-empath-EF.htm).

There are ways to combat these nice folks without having your energy taken away from you. Be compassionate though. You don't want to be a mean person either.

RedHeadYogi: RedHeadYogi: Finding Your Passion in Life

RedHeadYogi: RedHeadYogi: Finding Your Passion in Life: RedHeadYogi: Finding Your Passion in Life : My friend, the Venerable Bhante Sujatha has made his life purpose to help people find their happ...

Do Mean People Really Suck?

Did you ever meet someone who was just the most unhappy person you ever met? Better yet, how about the one person in your work area who makes it a point to be the "watchdog" to tattle on everyone? Recently it seems I've run into people who just aren't happy. No matter how cheerful you can be, they find a way to make the situation ugly.

Being the geek that I am, I wanted to find out some answers as to why people are mean. I found a couple articles which seem to shed some light on things.

Nathan Heflick, PhD wrote an article for Psychology Today titled, "Why are People Mean?" In it he gives five really interesting reasons.

a. Social Identity Theory - To put it in Cindy terms, this means people want to be unique from others in a positive way. So how do we do this? Well, there's folks that are in the "in group" and those in the "out group" or what we called in high school, "Cliques." Yep, adults do it too. People who are in the in group degrade people in the out group. By being mean to the out group folks, the in group people feel more empowered and self confident along with self esteem. Along with this theory is the basis of competition. Who can get noticed first and be more popular.

b. Social Comparison Theory - This is a good one. People love to compare each other.  By doing this comparison thing, the self esteem is lower and we feel worse about ourselves. I remember this when I was in high school. I grew up on a farm and so wanted to be one of the kids who lived in a development because I viewed them as cool. I wanted to buy my clothes at 'the mall' instead of K-Mart. Boy! I was nuts! But we do this as adults too. I see people who try to be like others so much that they lose their own identity.

c. Classical Projection - With this one, if you feel one way about something you tend to feel others are the same. A good example of this is trust. If you lack trust in yourself, you won't trust anyone. If you can't be truthful to yourself, others won't be truthful to you. Make sense?  So if you're one of those angry people, you're essentially going to make others around you the same way.

d. Ego Threat - Threatened self esteem can drive anger. When this happens people feel bad about themselves and your self worth goes right in the toilet.

Heflick closes his article by saying, "Insecurity over ourselves drives much of the cruelty in the world."
(source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-questions/201306/why-are-people-mean-part-1)

Honestly, I don't hang around people who are mean and don't tolerate in my life. Heflick is correct when he said it is an insecurity that drives cruelty. So many times I've experienced this. A good example is someone who I called my best friend. We were friends from years. While I was learning yoga, losing weight, and bettering my life, the more this person got negative and nasty. I didn't like being around them solely because of the negativity. It got to the point where I told this person I loved them but can't be around the negativity any longer. After reading the article, it was an insecurity because this person had a hard time losing weight, didn't like doing any form of exercise, smoked, and was unhappy with their life. Here's my question: if something makes you unhappy or makes you feel insecure, why not fix it?

Like I've said before, life is a gift that, like a fine wine, should be enjoyed. If you're unhappy about your life, do something about it but don't take it out on others. If you lack trust, figure out why. If you can't tell the truth, think about how a lie hurts. All the mean folks in the world need to take some time and feel happy about just being you. You can be angry or upset but just don't allow it to dictate your life. It causes so many health issues that can be avoided just by being happy.

So to answer the question: do mean people really suck? I can't say yes or not but it is avoidable. Don't live with it and don't allow others to bring it into your life. 

RedHeadYogi: Finding Your Passion in Life

RedHeadYogi: Finding Your Passion in Life: My friend, the Venerable Bhante Sujatha has made his life purpose to help people find their happiness. It's his passion in life. For yea...

Finding Your Passion in Life

My friend, the Venerable Bhante Sujatha has made his life purpose to help people find their happiness. It's his passion in life. For years, I went through life just trying to make it through each day. Then I had my daughter; she became my passion and love. As with all baby birds, she grew up, went to college, and moved away. I'm not gonna lie, I felt like my purpose was gone. I did my job as a mom and it was time to let go. I cried...a lot. During this time, it was like a transition into another realm of thinking. I sat down and had a long talk with myself on what it was I wanted in life. The first thing that came to mind was happiness. Have that; I have a great job, great health, great kids, amazing and awesome husband. Didn't know what my passion was. This took awhile. As we get older, our passions and favorites change. When I was younger my passion was having fun (nothing really wrong with that), the Monkees, and my job in the military. So you can see our passions change. We never stay sentient in our lives.

 As I moved on, I realized my passion is so many things! I have passion(s)! For starters, life is a great joy and every day needs to be cherished (yes even the cold/snowy days). Family is another passion. How I love watching my children grow and become amazing adults. Love watching my granddaughters grow up. I love playing with my dog, walking her, hiking with her, and having her lay in my lap every day. My friends are a great joy and passion to me. Whether it's standing by them when they are sad or having a great meal or movie with them. But my greatest passion is yoga. I tell people it saved my life. It did. But it's more than that. Yoga gave me purpose, a calm never felt before, alignment, peace, good health, and awesome people. I've made more friends with fellow yogi's.

How do you find your own passion? Susan Biali breaks it down like this:

1. Inventory your talents - Everyone has a talent. Sometimes we think we've got nothing, but you do. If not, find something you want to learn about. Currently, I'm teaching myself how to sew. Not as easy as you think but I'm sure having fun with it. 
2. Pay attention to who makes you annoyed or jealous - That's the last thing you need in your life. Another caveat to this is pay attention to who bring drama. Remember my blog on friendship?? We talked about toxic people and how to break away.
3. Think about what you loved to do as a child - I loved tumbling and doing weird things like teaching myself how to move my toes independently. Sounds goofy right? But it sure is fun to still do it. My husband stares at my toes in wonder. Love that!
4. Notice when you lose track of time, or what you hate to stop doing - What do you love to spend hours doing? I love reading and can spend hours sitting and reading. I could do yoga until my body shakes.
5. See your passion hunt as a fun, joyful adventure - Instead of getting frustrated in trying to figure out what makes you happy, experiment with it with a smile and joy. It's not a job, it's an adventure (sorry Army...had to go there).

(source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prescriptions-life/201205/five-steps-finding-your-passion)

Stephen Covey said in his book The 8th Habit - "Find your voice and encourage others to find theirs." Same principle. Find your passion and encourage others to find theirs.

Say No To Perfection - Part III - Positivity

You know the Disney Princesses have it right. If you ever notice, they are all faced with bad stuff like wicked witches, poisoned apples, and evil step mothers and they still see the bright side of everything. Yesterday I thought about this for quite awhile. Being positive is a good thing and it's good for your health. In 2010, I made a conscious effort to become more positive; looking at the bright side of life. Since doing so, my health has improved, my energy levels are higher, and overall I'm pretty damn happy.

So how do you get positive? Simple, just change the way you think. It's not easy. I'll give you an example. This past month I was enrolled in doing some teacher training for yoga. From the beginning there were communication issues that were extremely frustrating to the point of me getting very angry. At this point my life it takes a lot to get me angry. However, this place achieved it. So being a positive thinker as I am, I approach this matter in a positive way; which to me worked out for the best. The overall outcome of the story is a good one. I dropped this training; However, I spoke with the owner and the general manager in hopes that they would realize that accountability and communication is important for not only students but the instructors. As for me, the positive outcome is working together with my great friend Mary, who is the best in yoga that I've ever seen, but achieving my goal. So you see here everything worked out. AND I am happy and continuously positive.  

Back in the 70s and 80s, rev. Robert Schuller wrote a book on the Power of Positive Thinking. No one ever heard of positive thinking before however it has come to the forefront of our daily lives. Like I said this idea of positive thinking isn't easy. There are some out there who live their lives being negative and thrive on that negativity. I for one know what's some who enjoy this way of life. Blaming others, refusing to take accountability, seen the errors and others, etc. is not my way of thinking. A week ago a friend of mine got shorted on her paycheck by one day. She was furious! Wow I would be upset myself, My response to her was, "at least you have a paycheck to pay your bills." So you see, by turning it around makes the individual realize they should be grateful for having money in the bank. People make mistakes; some of which are the smartest in the world, but we seem to overcome them and persevere.

According to the Mayo Clinic, positive thinking has extremely awesome Health benefits.

Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

• Increased life span
• Lower rates of depression
• Lower levels of distress
• Greater resistance to the common cold
• Better psychological and physical well-being
• Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
• Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

(source: http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950)

I can attest that this is correct. Once I changed my way of thinking, depression faded away. I haven't had a cold since 2009. Dealing with stress now is a little bit easier because of positive thinking. You can see, in the world, we need to make some major changes. Positive thinking not only brings you A healthier lifestyle, but sends positive vibrations into the world which can create peace. In the book The Secret, Rhonda Byrne talks about the power of positive thinking also. When you want to achieve certain things like a job, money, Love, you think on a positive mental attitude getting all these things to the universe and you can achieve them. No one is to blame for the way you think other than you. Why not think positive? You'll be so much happier in life will have so much more meaning.

Friends: Know when to hold them. Know when to walk away.

Like the song says, "You gotta have friends." At the ripe old age of 52, I've come to realize how much I cherish my friendships. Man or woman, friendships are so important to ones life.  I don't know about others but my friendships are an extension of my family and are considered family. Friends are also good for your health. In research done by the Mayo Clinic, they state,

1. Friends increase your sense of belonging and purpose
2. Friendships boosts happiness and decreases stress
3. Friends improve self confidence and self worth
4. Friendships help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
5.  Friends encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise (http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860)

Last year my girlfriends and I decided to have girls nights once a month. I live for these nights. We do things like have dinner, build a fire, make smores, etc. Next week it's our first get together since Winter. I'm so excited. When mother nature keeps up apart, we text, call, and have lunch together. No matter what, we are there for each other. Even in sickness, death, sadness, and emergencies we stick together and know we all can count on each other.

There are times friends are better than family. Sometimes family can be, well, a bit too much to handle. Friends tend to be that calm we need when family doesn't understand (more on that later).

But what happens when friendships go stale or rocky? I've had this happen to me on three occasions.  Each of them being hard when I tell them I love them but you have to part ways. So begs the question: When can you tell when a friendship is toxic? I found this article on how you can tell.

• Feeling down or even depressed when your friend is about.
• No longer getting excited to see your friend, seeing them has become something you feel obliged to endure.
• You feel that your friend always talks about themselves, even when it's clear you need a shoulder to cry on.
• Your friend's set of values and their ambitions seem to have changed a great deal from yours, to the extent where you don't see eye to eye on most things anymore.
• Have you discovered that your friend gave you bad advice on purpose? It can be just as bad if your friend is always agreeing with you without caring about the consequences because he or she cannot be bothered to set you straight.
• It seems that your friend only "needs" you when he or she has bad news to share.
• It feels as if your friend is using you as a means to make herself or himself feel better by belittling you.
• Your friend has taken to criticizing you all the time or being judgmental about your choices and decisions without cause.
• Rumors started by your friend (confirmed by others) have reached your ears.
• Your friend has taken to dropping you in a mess at the last moment, hindering your progress, or has become really unreliable and won't follow through on promises made to you, time and again.
• You feel manipulated, demeaned, poisoned, or downplayed by your friend.
• Consider what other behaviors or attitudes have lead you to feeling sour about your friendship together. (http://www.wikihow.com/Detox-a-Friendship)

How many of you out there have had this happen? Even at my age this happens. One thing I can't stand is drama; especially girl drama is the worst.  This is where you need to think about if the friendship is valuable to you. If it is, work through it together. If not, like me, send them away with love. It's okay to step away. We grow out of people like we do toys. So don't feel bad when this time comes. It happens. You can view it as the circle of life, your life.

I love my friends but there might be a time we part ways. For now, I hold them close to my soul and enjoy their very presence in my life. Embrace those you have. Clean house of those who are toxic and know it's okay.

Hair Care, Body Wash and Organics

 Lately I've been looking at not just what I put inside my body but on my body. What do we use? Shampoo, conditioner, lotion, body soap, face wash, moisturizer, make up to start. I'm sure there's more but you get the idea. Can we find things to use which are organic and not have words we can't pronounce? Yes we can but you (yet again) have to be picky on where you shop.

If you have the time to do research, the company I found to be THE BEST when it comes to all the above products is called NYR Organics. I love them so much I decided to become a consultant. Everything they have is organic. The company is out of the UK where their organics laws are tough and not so lame as we have here by the FDA. Their prices are reasonable too. The cool thing about this company is they tell you what is being used and the percentage of organics in it. They even have make up but you all know I don't wear make up so I can't really comment on how good it is. However, I do have a friend who does use their make up and says it is really good. My go to for their face items is their Frankincense line. It smells good and it feels good on you face. Their body wash, shampoo, etc. is top notch. I haven't really found anything I didn't like. It's pleasing to the nose and feels nice on the skin. Check it out if you like (https://us.nyrorganic.com/shop/CindyBeers/).

Now if you're one of those folks who only shops for things when you run out (I confess I do that too), you can always head over to Ulta, Sephora, or Target. There's a company called Organix that has a line of hair care products which seem nice. In looking through Amazon and Target, the hair care line ranges from three to five stars. As far as body wash, Jasons is always a great go to. They also offer lotions and more. Burts Bees has a line of body items and make up which looks nice too. But be wise; some of those items still have the chemicals in it which we can't pronounce.

One thing I started being a bit picky on is soap. I like to know what's in my soap. I do use Jasons in my shower but when I like a good soaking bath, I want a bar soap. I found my girlfriend Tara makes a mean soap. Everything she uses is all natural and smells like heaven.  Tara takes the time and tests everything she uses in her soaps and creates magic that feels nice on the skin. Take a peak at her (https://www.facebook.com/TarasSoaps) and her amazingness.

Body lotion is so common for all of us; especially as we get older. Personally I stopped using all store bought body lotions and I make my own. It's so easy and the ingredients are right in your kitchen. Let me introduce you to my secret...olive oil. I mix olive oil and grapeseed oil together with a little essential oil and boom! I'm good. I normally use lavender because lavender is an anti itch agent if you have itchy dry skin. You can also use coconut oil. Put it in a bowl and whip it with your mixer. Add a couple vitamin E oil out of the capsules and you got some amazing lotion. You can use it on your eyes too for wrinkles. Who knew!?

So you can go organic and not break the bank. Like food, we need to look at what we put on our body. There are tons of recipes on Pinterest if you want to make your own items and even enjoy making it and using it.

My next task is finding a way to color my hair without chemicals! More on that soon.

Learning to Exhale

I'll confess I am a workaholic. As much as I try not to be, somehow I tend to try to fill up my day. I work part time for two colleges teaching online and I teach yoga here at my house and at a local military base. So I'm busy till I hit the bed. It feels good but lately I feel worn out.

Last week my friend Anne Marie is an angel reader. She's pretty awesome and if you've never had an angel reading before, do it. She does face to face and over the phone. Her number is (717) 777-1536. Anyway when I sat down for my reading, she said all the angels in the room were yelling to tell me to slow down. Since then I've decided to scale back, focus on my blog and take the summer off with my home yoga classes. Easier said than done. I love all my clients. They're family. So it's hard to tell them I want to take the summer off, but I will. There are a couple I'll do here and there but nothing scheduled. Ok, got that figured out...maybe. I'll keep you updated.

I was taking a certification course which abruptly came to an end today (due to issues on their end) so that opens up more space on my calendar. So since 3:00pm I've been sitting here wondering what the hell am I going to do?

For starters, like the title says, learn to exhale. Because I am the battery bunny here, I need to stop, take a breath, and learn how to relax. My friend, author Priscilla Warner wrote a book about Learning to Breathe. She had chronic anxiety attacks from a crazy life. Once she slowed down, she embraced meditation and her religion of Judaism. Growing up she wasn't very religious but when she embraced it as she got older, she found that coupled with the meditation she found peace.

I know peace and I've experienced it. How in the world do we drift away from it and fill up our days. So I'm putting together a list of things I want to accomplish for the summer. First, meditate for peace and happiness. Sharon Saltzburg has a great book on Happiness you should check out. Second, get my hands dirty in my flower gardens. I'm also going to try my hands at an herb garden. Lastly I found the state camp grounds have cabins. Maybe I'll rent one for a week and go for the peace and hiking. Most of all I want to spend time with my friend and family who I love and cherish.

I'm listening to my angels and my guardian angels. Deep breath in...cleansing breath out.

Say No To Perfection - Part II - The Inside Voice

So many times throughout my life I've listened to the negative talk within my head. "I can't do this. You're stupid. I hate my body." We all do that don't we? For the past few years, I've made it a point to give myself a verbal talking to when I do this. We are our own worst critics on everything. Why do we beat ourselves up when we know darn well we are capable, we're not dumb, and we are all pretty sexy in our own way.

How do we combat the negative talk? First, make yourself aware of doing it. Sometimes we don't even realize we're doing it. Once when I first started yoga I was in a Kripalu class and the teacher was amazing. Her husband was there also practicing. I was frustrated with myself for not being able to do a pose saying out loud, "I can't do this." Brent looked at me and said, "If you tell yourself you can't, you won't." Boy did that shake me in my boots. Such a simple thing but so powerful. Since that day I made it a point to say "I can do that" even if I've never tried it. Can't hurt right? Even if I do it lousy, at least I tried. When I find myself doing something stupid like adding extra sugar to a cake recipe, instead of saying how stupid I was I just look and laugh saying, "oh well, let's start again." WE ARE HUMAN! WE MAKE MISTAKES! There is no such thing as being perfect. I once worked for a financial company who demanded perfection in everything. They fired me because I made some errors. Seriously? And you're perfect? No one is.

Stop being so critical of you. You were made in the beauty of the universe. While it's easy for me to sit here and tell you this, it's up to you to make the change. It takes awhile but make yourself aware of what you're doing. If we do it while our children are young, they see it and do it too. I made that mistake and now that my daughter is older, I try to change it and make her aware of it too. God forbid she grow up neurotic like I was. I want her to know she is smart and beautiful and capable of doing anything she wants. Listen to your inside voice and know the negativity you project isn't real but your own self doubt. Get positive! When you do positive self talk, life changes for you. You become happier, assured, confident. It's a good feeling.

Say No To Perfection

Yesterday was my husband's birthday. We decided to go to a fine dining restaurant which means I have to put on makeup. I hate makeup. I know it's suppose to make you feel pretty but to me, it feels like a mask behind real beauty. I like the way I look without makeup; wrinkles and all. So I was asking myself, "is it okay to not be perfect?" Hell yea! But we need to embrace what we see as imperfect. Let's take a peak at our imperfections.

Legs - I was born with thick thighs and a big butt. I've been working out daily since 2009 and yet, my thighs never get smaller. They firm up a bit but they never look the way "I" want them to. But I'm okay with that. It's never going to change and I know this and I'm okay. It's good to note that I also have cankles. What are cankles? Your ankle and calf are rolled into one. They're thick and that's okay too.

Belly - As you get older you tend to have a little pouch. When I bend over it gets all saggy. It's not pretty. We can also look at hips here too. I've got birthing hips. That's how real women are built!

Boobs - Boobs are just weird. Women are never satisfied with their boobs. Mine look like pancakes that sink in the middle. That's okay!

Okay, we all have parts we don't like. But it's okay and embrace it. Our society has created this image of a woman that is far from perfect. We woman do not look like the women in Vogue or Cosmo and why would we? Recently I watched a documentary on the modeling industry. The pressure to be the perfect weight or the perfect look is extremely tough and stressful. Many of those girls (and guys) leave with depression and some have eating disorders. We don't need to be like that. We need to get brave and look at our naked bodies in the mirror, say to ourselves, "It's great to be me! What I see is okay and I embrace it." We've got to or we'll drive ourselves crazy. As my friend Julia said once, "Men are just happy to have a naked women in bed. They're not looking for the imperfections." She's right! So why don't we stop with being critical with ourselves?! Stop it! I'm just the same as you. Let's get together and embrace our loveliness.We are beautiful just as we are. Love your body and the soul that is within.

Food Part III - Do You Need To Go Organic?

This week Walmart said it as going to become more health conscious for it's customers and have more choices to include organic. Great!

We all know organic isn't cheap. So today we're going to ask a couple questions.

1. Can you lead a healthy life without going organic?
2. Is organic always better?

Before I get into my writing, it's good to define here what makes something organic. Organic.org states,
Simply stated, organic produce and other ingredients are grown without the use of pesticides, synthetic fertilizers, sewage sludge, genetically modified organisms, or ionizing radiation. Animals that produce meat, poultry, eggs, and dairy products do not take antibiotics or growth hormones. 

So if you're reading a label and wonder if it's organic, the ingredients in the items must be at least made with 70% organic according the USDA. There's also the view of non-GMO's too (Genetically Modified Organisms). We'll talk about GMO's later.

Answer #1. Yes you can lead a healthy life without going organic. However, you need to get picky. Why? First thing is to read labels. If you're going to buy canned veggies, look at the label and see what's in it. Lots of canned veggies and fruit have things in it which we don't need  (sugar, citric acid, salt, and preservatives). Look for items that have simplicity to them: veggies and water. Boom! Done! If you like things like manufactured foods, look at the label...again! Many manufactured foods have so many things in them which I can't even pronounce. If you can't pronounce the ingredients, don't buy it. Why put that into your body if you have no idea if it's healthy for you! You can make the lasagna cheaper and just as easy as buying Stouffers. And you know what's in it. Many grocery stores have make and takes which are healthy and easy to do. Try those too. Nothing chemically enhanced about that. Alright, I know you're wondering about my husband's favorite side dish: Tater Tots. Again, look at the labels. You can eat those things and there isn't many ingredients in them, but be safe and read the labels. Milk falls on the same lines, read the label.

Fresh veggies are another item people consider when going organic. You can buy regular veggies that aren't organic. Eating fresh is good! If you know where they come from (i.e. the farm) that's a good thing and if you trust them, that's even better. Here in PA there are many farm stands are around where you can buy amazing things fresh.

Be picky about things that "seem" healthy. For example: yogurt. There are so many out there. Look for ones that have the least ingredients and no sugar. If you want fruit, add it yourself.

Answer #2. Yes organic is better. Why? Look at all the things that your food is grown in above! Locally one of the farmers uses, pesticides but also human and animal sludge! Ewwww! Even though human and animal poo is natural, they add chemicals to it which make it gross. Also, veggies, nuts, and fruits that come from seeds or trees can be genetically modified in a lab. Apples of many varieties are created from splicing different apples together thus creating a new variety. You can tell if a veggie has been genetically modified; they have imperfections. Green peppers are the easiest. If they have three bumps their male, four bumps are female. More than four, a freak show.

My husband is a big organic guy. If it has pesticides, GMO's etc, he doesn't care. But at the same time his body can handle it too. Mine can't. If it's genetically modified, my body expels it fast. My body can't handle the chemicals and pesticides so I have to be organic. I make many of my food from scratch to include butter and yogurt (so easy and quick).

Bottom line, it's your choice on how you want to eat. If you can't afford organic, be smart. This market is growing and personally I think it might take over the majority of the grocery store. Remember what I say, be smart what you put down your pie hole.

Food - Part II

I'm sure we'll have more conversations on food. But yesterday I started off by saying I have a love/hate relationship with food but didn't elaborate as to why. Food is a challenge for me. Trying new things is amazing and I love it. However, once I try something new, I have to wait to see if I have an allergic reaction to any of it. It seems as I've gotten older, my once tough interior has seemed to become sensitive. What frequently happens is at home or when I go out, we go to the same places and I order the same things because I consider them "safe" if I didn't have a reaction. But this can be viewed as a good thing because I'm so in tune with my body and my system. Now don't get me wrong, there are times I break from my norm, but I pay for it later. For example, it's Easter season so what's at every checkout? Home made Easter eggs by good church people. How I love these sugar filled pieces of culinary delight. The mere fact of taking a bite and feeling the trickle of peanut butter, coconut, or butter cream mixed with chocolate run through my mouth and down my throat filling my body with ooey gooey goodness. Sigh... That's such a great picture and yes I do that. Rare, but I there are times. When I do eat these, I feel it. I get a headache, feel lethargic, and downright awful.

Hence, rises the question: Is it okay to be bad? In my world, yes. We want to eat healthy and be healthy. There are times when life gets the best of us. Remember though, it's ok to have an indulgence once and awhile but don't binge! There's a difference. You can have a burger and fries or chocolate (we will talk all about chocolate soon) but portion it into your daily diet.

With the internet and smart phones there are many ways you can watch what you eat. My good friend Gail who's a health coach (http://www.nourishcoaching.com/) tells me she hates the word "diet." I can see that. When you here that word our brains go on high alert and walls come up. So we won't say the word. But we will say we watch what we eat for daily portioning. My app of choice is MyFitnessPal (also on the web too http://www.myfitnesspal.com/). Love it! It's not about losing weight as much as it is about being mindful to what we put into our pie hole. It also works well with other apps like MapMyWalk and FitBit (we'll talk about these later) to incorporate your walking or running. There are many other popular apps out there to help you without using "the" word.

Gail is right! No more (dare I say it?) DIETING! Eat to live. Enjoy life and embrace it. But do it smartly (is that a word).

Food

I have a love/hate relationship with food. I love to eat. I could consider myself a foodie but I can't because I have so many restrictions; not by choice. As I've gotten older (I'm 52) I became allergic to so many things. Let's regress back a bit. When I turned 45 for some reason I developed allergies to so many things. Tree nuts and gluten are probably the biggest ones. I have to be so careful. So out went bread and nuts. Ok, no big deal. I did it and I was cool with it. During this time I realize that meat (chicken and beef) made me sick too. So by choice I cut meat out too. But wait! It gets better. I developed a intolerance to dairy too. WTF! What is going on. As normal in my world no one can find a reason.

However...

Since then I've realized on my own these things are a good thing. During my researched I've found that processed foods are really not good for you. Not just that, anything that is mass produced such as potatoes, rice, nuts, corn, etc. my body doesn't like because it is genetically modified. I could get frustrated with this but I do see it as a blessing. By not eating these things, my IBS has slowed down. I can always tell if I get anything in my body that it doesn't like. I get a headache, I feel weak, and eventually there's a mad dash to the bathroom to rid this badness from my body.

Be mindful of what you put in your piehole. Grant it, for me, it can be frustrating and there could be tears involved. But think about what you put in your body, how does it make you feel 10 to 15 minutes later, and decide if it is good for you. I can guarantee you if you take a conscious look at what you eat, it can change how you eat. There were years and years where I never could lose weight and to be honest I didn't care, but as I get older, I have to. I have grandchildren I want to see grow up. I want to see my daughter get older. AND I have so many things I want to achieve and do!

As with life, you are in charge of everything about your own life. Take charge of it! From what you put in your body to what you do with it. Here's my thought process: I believe in reincarnation. If I take really good care of my mind and body, whoever and whatever gets my soul has that knowledge so they can lead a healthy happy life too.

PTSD

PTSD is not something you get while in the military. You get it from anything that's happened in your life. For me, there were many things which happened to me which chalked up to PTSD; some of which happened in the military. PTSD happens to everyone whether you realize it or not. It's when it surmounts into where you can't function anymore, that's when it becomes a problem. When I went off Paxil, my ability to function happened in October 2012. As I was withdrawing from Paxil, I began to feel things, remember things, experience feelings I kept in a deep dark place. Life became scary. While I continued to quiet my mind with meditation, it was after my practice that became scary.

From regret of things I didn't do as a mom to actions I did while in the military to car accidents, it was like a flood. This is where, along with meditation, neurofeedback helped me to be where I am today. I cannot stress how important these two items are to me.

Meditation is a personal choice. Finding one that works for you is a journey. My journey to find the one which worked for me was a sojourn I loved. I learned mindfulness, Tibetan, chakra, guided, music, etc. The one which worked the best for me is TM (www.tm.org). My TM teachers, Bob and Ali are fantastic. They continue to be life long friends. What I did find out is TM is the #1 meditation that works for folks like me who had severe PTSD. They offer TM for free for all active duty, retired, and disabled veterans through the David Lynch Foundation (http://www.davidlynchfoundation.org/military.html). David Lynch has made it his life to help veterans get their lives back through TM. It works. So if you're on a search for what works for you, try it all out and pick what you want.

Neurofeedback with Teri Hagen and Tom Fink is like Christmas to me. Like I said earlier, when I first started, it was hard and you leave trying to figure out "WTF did I just do?" "Is it working?" After the first time I did it, I slept without needing something to help me sleep. It's awesome. According to eeginfo.com, Neurofeedback is defined as,

• Neurofeedback is direct training of brain function, by which the brain learns to function more efficiently. We observe the brain in action from moment to moment. We show that information back to the person. And we reward the brain for changing its own activity to more appropriate patterns."

We are lucky to be in the world we live in today. Mental Health issues aren't looked at as taboo or something quietly spoken about between family members. It's out there and we all got our issues. No one has to hide in the dark when they feel sad, scared, etc. I can say honestly I had issues and I'm working on them. There is no such thing as being normal but I can tell you this, for the first time in my life, I feel I can lead a normal life. I am grateful for everyone from Bob and Ali to Tom and Teri who helped me achieve better mental health.

On a side note, Tom Fink developed a home unit to do your own neurofeedback in the comfort of your own home! Though it's works with only a PC (no MAC yet but in the works), this little baby can really help and you can do it as many times as you feel the need to (http://www.mindreflector.com/).

Live Big! Love Life!

Cindy

Depression

There's a big difference between being sad and being depressed. I suffered with depression for many many years. Here's my attempt at what depression feels like: it feels like anvils all over your body holding you down, you feel pain within every ounce of your body down to the cells, your brain can't see true happiness because you're wallowing in so much sadness. The doctor put me on Paxil. I was on Paxil for 21 years. On Paxil you feel better but you're on autopilot all the time. Your emotions fall to the wayside and you don't feel things or show any emotions. But wait, they also put me on Ativan too! A narcotic that helps with anxiety. What was I thinking?

So what did I do? In August 2012, I felt strong from doing yoga daily and meditation twice a day (more on meditation in future postings). I talked it over with my doctor and decided to go off Paxil and Ativan. I knew it was going to be hard and being the dork that I am I bought a book on how to do it. It's imperative you do it slow. I took me three months. I now know what drug addicts go through with withdrawal; felt every nerve ending and muscle in my body awaken. During this time, I was talking with my friend Teri who works with a psychologist who does neurofeedback (more on that on later postings too). I explained to her what I was doing and she said this would be great to help with withdrawal (thank God!!). I immediately made an appointment with Dr. Tom Fink (http://www.acornhealth.com/). I started off going twice a week being hooked up to a computer and forced to play games I didn't know how the hell to play. These were games you had no idea what you were doing because your brain was in charge; not thought. I would leave there crying because I thought I was failing at these games, but I wasn't. My brain was learning and getting stronger. You see, Paxil weakens the parts of the brain that cause the depression making it even hard to bounce back. A year and a half later, I'm strong mentally! It seems like for the first time I can feel things emotionally. From happy, to sad, I want to feel it all and experience it.

Here's where I have a problem with today's modern medicine. We go into the doctor to be fixed only to have a piece of tape put on the problem instead of looking at this holistically. Depression can be fixed by meditation, neurofeedback, acupuncture, yoga. Why do we, as a society, look for the quick fix? Nothing can be fixed quickly. Great things take time. Embrace your mental health. You don't have to live in sadness and pills all the time. Take it from me. There are ways to make it better.

IBS

As I said yesterday, I have IBS. Irritable Bowel syndrome comes in many forms. You can have constipation with severe cramps or diarrhea with cramps. I have the later (lucky me!). In doing research for my upcoming book, Warm & Squishy, I did research on this. As I stated before, doctors today are so quick to hand out a pill to fix this; but it's more than that. Being the geek that I am, I decided to be my own guinea pig. First I had a poop test done by local Naturalpath Jessica Shoemaker (awesome chick). The test can actually be purchased online without a doctor (http://www.greatplainslaboratory.com/home/eng/stool.asp). With me, I had a huge deposit of yeast (candida) within my body. With this information I had to make changes to the way I eat to keep my yeast levels low so the IBS doesn't rear it's ugly head. Renew Life is a great company that focuses on digestive issues (http://www.renewlife.com/). The first thing I did was a cleanse. Renew Life has a cleanse called a CandiGone. Now when I say cleanse, don't freak out. It's not what you think. You put a tincture of herbs in water and take two capsules and modify your diet with low sugar (natural and refined) and low acid foods. It isn't tough. You do this for two weeks. You eat but differently. After I did this my life totally changed. Grant it, my IBS isn't cured but it's slowed down quite a bit and I can have a life without worrying about poop running down my leg.

Along with doing my research on IBS I found the ONLY doctor who's practice is on treating people with IBS. Stephen Wangan of the IBS Treatment Center in Seattle and Santa Monica. He treats IBS with diet along with vitamins and supplements. He wrote a great book also called the IBS Solution. It's an ebook so you can download it. He's a wealth of knowledge and an IBS sufferer too. So I suggest checking him out (http://ibstreatmentcenter.com/).

I also looked into the adult diaper industry. One thing I learned is the adult diaper industry does not cater to IBS sufferers but mostly to folks who are incontinent. When I approached them as to why they don't look into this, their response was, "There isn't a large enough population who suffer from IBS." Really? This was Proctor and Gamble.

So if you suffer from IBS, there is hope. You don't have to take the pills that cause side effects that stink (no pun intended). You can keep it at bey with healthy eating and a holistic lifestyle.

Peace and Love,

Cindy

Dr. Garabedian

What a guy! He literally fixed me. Not just health wise but spiritually too. Once my journey with him started, my life changed. In the Fibromyalgia world, it's tough to find a good doctor who will listen without trying to treat you with pills. Before I met him, I went to so many doctors who told me, "Well you just have to learn to live with it." Bullshit! I don't have to settle at all. I knew I wanted a life of good health. AND I didn't want pills to be part of my life. Dr. G made that happen. Anyone out there who suffers from Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue, listen to me: You can have your life back. What these damn doctors are telling you is crap. The two above issues are an umbrella for so many other issues going on. Guess what they are? Mono, Lyme's, thyroid issues, and a whole boatload more. Dr. G did the blood work and found all this. Recently I had a client go to him and she found out more too! Go! Do it! Find this man! If not, get the book, From Fatigued to Fantastic by Jacob Teitlebaum. It'll open your eyes.

Link to Dr. G

Jacob's Website

Sickness and in Health

Welcome to my blog. About a month ago I decided I was going to start a blog about my journey from illness to a healthy happy life. In 2009 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. Going blind and walking with a cane (and contemplating a walker) I found the greatest doctor who cares enough to spend time with his patience, treat holistically, encourage from the heart, and care for you always. More on him later. After countless trips to Philadelphia, I started feeling better. Then came another whammy. Heading to Minneapolis I contracted Legionnaires Disease on the airplane. I spent a week in a hotel with the employees taking care of me. I even called my family doctor who said, "It's a virus. It'll go away in a couple days." Yea right. Came home and the next day my mother found me on the floor unconscious. On the way to the ER my heart stopped. Hence the diagnoses. Personally I was so damn tired of being sick. I changed my whole life. I started yoga, went to a vegetarian diet, studied meditation, and adopted acupuncture too. All within a 6 month period.

Since then, I'm healthier, lighter, and happier than I've ever been. I'm 52 and a middle aged yogi/professor/mom/wife. From here on out, I'll give my tidbits of wisdom to how to lead a balanced life while living with illness and, oh yea, IBS that strikes at any moment.